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Rant: got my comment nuked in a local Facebook group for saying the potluck signup sheet had too many desserts
Back in March the neighborhood group posted a signup for the spring potluck at the rec center on Oak Street. I looked at the sheet and 11 of the 14 slots were desserts. Brownies, three kinds of cookies, a cake, you get it. One person signed up for paper plates and one for ice. Nobody had a main dish. So I commented 'maybe some of us should bring actual food instead of a 12th tray of brownies' and within 20 minutes the admin removed it and sent me a message saying I was 'not being supportive of everyone's contributions.' I tried to explain I wasn't knocking anybody's baking, I was just pointing out we were gonna have 40 people and nothing but sugar. She told me to 'redirect my energy into signing up for a dish myself.' So I signed up for a main and then someone else commented that the sheet was lopsided and she deleted that too. I get that it's a potluck and everyone means well but there has to be a way to say 'hey we need real food' without getting treated like I kicked a puppy. Is there any polite way to point out a lopsided signup sheet without the admin stepping in, or do I just bring a casserole and shut up next time?
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dixon.amy8d ago
A friend of mine ran into this exact thing at her church supper last year. She waited until about a week before the event and then posted a friendly note in the group saying something like "excited for Saturday, looks like we're covered on sweets, could still use a couple sides and mains if anyone's still deciding." No blame, no callout, just a heads up. Two guys signed up for pulled pork within an hour and nobody got mad because she never mentioned the dessert people at all. The trick is to talk about what's missing, not what's there too much of. Saying "too many desserts" reads like a slap at the bakers even if you don't mean it that way. Say what you still need and most people will step up. Bringing a casserole and keeping quiet also works, but then you're the one doing all the heavy lifting while everyone else shows up with cookies.
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