the_max•9d agoProlific Poster

My family lawyer told me to stop apologizing in court and now I know why

After my third appearance for a custody modification last fall, she pulled me aside in the hallway and said jurors read an apology as an admission of fault every single time, but I need to know if that advice works the same in written affidavits as it does in person, has anyone else gotten that from their attorney?

2 comments

2 Comments

gavin_kim39d ago

Is your lawyer saying the same thing about written stuff too? Because I had the exact same experience with my attorney during a custody thing last year. She told me that in affidavits, you're basically making a record that the other side's lawyer can pick apart later. I wrote "I'm sorry for any confusion" once and she made me rewrite the whole paragraph. Said it sounds like you're taking blame even if you don't mean to. It's wild how one little phrase can flip everything against you.

hugo2369d ago

I remember my cousin's divorce hearing back in 2017... he kept saying "I'm sorry" every time the judge asked him a question about missing a child support payment. His lawyer literally passed him a note that said "STOP." in all caps. But in written affidavits, it's a different beast because you have time to think about every word, and that's where people mess up by trying to sound polite or remorseful when they should just state facts. My buddy who works in family law told me that judges scan written statements for language that sounds like the writer is admitting to something, and "I apologize" or "I regret" are huge red flags. So yeah, I'd listen to your lawyer on this one, even in writing, because the same logic applies just in a different format.