School aide's advice about stimming nearly got my son sent home

Last month my son's new classroom aide told us he needed to "stop flapping and sit still" during circle time, saying it was too distracting for the other kids. She wanted us to push him to hold his hands down for 15 minutes at a stretch. We followed her guidance for about 2 weeks and it was a disaster, he had meltdowns every single afternoon and started refusing to go to school by Thursday. Then we talked to his occupational therapist who explained that the flapping was actually helping him regulate his sensory input, so suppressing it was making everything worse. We told the school we weren't going to enforce that rule anymore, and within 3 days he was back to his normal happy self at drop-off. Now I'm wondering if anyone else has dealt with school staff giving autism advice that goes against what your OT or pediatrician recommends, and how did you handle it politely? I still have to work with this aide every day.

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