c/autism

Took me 30 years to realize I was stimming wrong

I always cracked my knuckles and bounced my leg to calm down, but last week my sister pointed out I was doing it so hard I was bruising my fingers. Turns out I was masking even during stims by making them look 'normal' instead of actually helpful. Has anyone else found a stim that works better after ditching what you thought was the 'right' way?

Bought a $60 weighted blanket and gave me sensory overload instead of calm

Found a weird trick for handling loud grocery stores after 30 years

I used to dread the fluorescent lights and beeping scanners at the Kroger near my place in Austin. Tried noise canceling headphones but they made me jump when people tapped my shoulder. Eventually figured out if I go at 7 AM on a Sunday and wear a ball cap to block the overhead lights, I can actually finish my list without shutting down. Anyone else find a setup that works for their local store?

Wasted $80 on a weighted blanket that was way too heavy for me

Bought a 20 pound blanket last month thinking it'd help with my sleep and anxiety but it just made me feel trapped and claustrophobic, anyone else have trouble finding the right weight for sensory stuff?

My sensory overload plan totally fell apart at a family dinner last Sunday

I had it all worked out. I brought my noise canceling earbuds, sat at the end of the table near the door, and even ate my food before everyone else so I wouldn't have to deal with the chewing sounds. But then my cousin brought her new baby and he started crying nonstop. The pitch just cut through everything. I tried to focus on my plate but the mix of crying, 8 people talking, and silverware clanking got me so overstimulated I had to leave the table after 20 minutes. I ended up hiding in the bathroom for like 15 minutes just breathing. Has anyone else had a carefully planned coping strategy just completely fail when something unexpected happened?

Stood in a grocery store parking lot for 15 minutes yesterday because the overhead lights were humming at the wrong pitch

Vent: Wasted $250 on a 'sensory-friendly' weighted blanket that barely counts as a blanket

The thing is maybe 3 pounds and the fabric feels like sandpaper against my skin, so now I'm stuck using my old lumpy comforter again - has anyone else fallen for those overpriced autism products on Amazon?

That one Thursday last month where everything went right and it actually scared me

Ngl I had a day back in October where my sensory stuff just... stopped? I went to the grocery store at 5pm on a Thursday, usually a total nightmare for me. But the lights didn't feel too bright, the beeping at checkout was just background noise, and nobody bumped into me in the aisles. It was so good I actually got worried something was wrong with me. Has anyone else had a single perfect day like that and then felt paranoid about it?

Tried structured play vs free play with my autistic son and one clearly worked better

For the last 6 months I've been alternating between structured play activities like puzzle games with set rules and letting my 8 year old just do his own thing with his train set. The structured stuff helped him stay focused for about 20 minutes but he'd get frustrated if he couldn't figure it out fast enough. Free play though, he'll spend an hour organizing his trains by color and size without any meltdowns. Has anyone else noticed their kid does better with less structure or am I missing something?

Can we talk about how long it took me to find the right noise canceling headphones

I spent 3 months trying different headphones because I need complete quiet to focus at work. Finally tried the Sony WH-1000XM5 at a Best Buy in Austin and they actually block out the AC hum and my coworker's clicking pen. I wish I had just gone to test them in person day one instead of reading reviews online. Has anyone else wasted time trying to pick the right sensory gear?

Paid $200 for noise cancelling headphones and they actually made my overstimulation worse

Everyone told me noise cancelling headphones were a lifesaver for sensory issues, so I bought a pair from Sony last month. But the weird pressure feeling in my ears when the cancellation kicks in actually makes me more anxious, not less. I ended up returning them after three days and went back to my old $20 foam earplugs. Now I'm sitting here wondering if anyone else has this reaction or if I'm just unlucky. Do you use headphones or earplugs for overstimulation?

Told my kid's school they were wrong about his 'attention problem'

The school kept saying my son needed a 504 plan because he couldn't focus in class, but I saw him hyperfocus on his Lego sets for 4 hours straight at home. Turns out it was just sensory overload from the fluorescent lights buzzing - has anyone else dealt with schools missing the real issue?

The whole "eye contact is required" thing in job interviews is a trap that hurts autistic people more than it helps.

I sat through a 45-minute interview last week where the hiring manager kept saying I seemed "distracted" because I was looking at my notes instead of her face, and she never asked a single question about my actual driving record or route planning, so has anyone else just started telling interviewers upfront that you process better without staring at them?

Went to a museum last week and noticed the 'quiet hours' were anything but quiet

I visited the Natural History Museum last Tuesday for their advertised quiet hours for autistic visitors. They said they would dim lights and lower sound. But when I got there, the lights were barely dimmed, and a school group came through talking loudly. I asked a staff member about it, and she said they try their best but can't control all visitors. So my question is - should museums enforce quiet hours strictly or just accept they can't fully control the environment? I want to know what others think, especially parents of autistic kids who have tried these events.

That time I freaked out at a grocery store over the lights

I was in the middle of Meijer last Tuesday and those fluorescent flickers hit me so hard I just sat down in the cereal aisle and put my hands over my face. Some lady asked if I was okay and I told her the ceiling was attacking me, which got me exactly zero sympathy.

Why does nobody talk about meltdown triggers changing as you get older

At 35 I had a full meltdown in a Target parking lot over a broken cart. Five years ago the same thing would have been a mild annoyance. I used to handle crowds fine but last month at the grocery store I had to leave mid shop. After that I started tracking what sets me off now vs then. Loud music in stores used to be fine but now it makes me shut down. Has anyone else noticed their sensory triggers totally shifting in their 30s?

Appreciation post: how the aquarium in Denver handles sensory overload

Went to the Denver aquarium last Saturday and noticed they have quiet hours from 9-10am with dim lights and no loud announcements... has anyone else found a place that does this well for autistic visitors?

The silent shutdown thing when I get overloaded is not just me being rude

I figured out last month that when I go nonverbal during a meltdown, people think I'm ignoring them on purpose. I started carrying a small card that says "I need a minute to process" and handing it over, and it cut way down on arguments. Does anyone else use a specific signal or phrase to let people know what's happening?

Why did it take me 6 hours to realize the sensory light was flickering in my office?

I work in a small shared office space downtown and for MONTHS I kept feeling off and getting headaches. Thought it was the coffee or not sleeping enough. Finally last week I was the last one there and the lights were off except for one overhead bulb. It was flickering like crazy, a really fast barely visible flicker. I timed it and it ran for 6 hours straight before I left. Now I have to ask the building manager to change it and I feel dumb. Has anyone else had a flickering light cause a whole day of meltdown without realizing what it was?

That time a gas station clerk called me out for not looking at faces

So there's this gas station on the corner of 5th and Elm near my apartment. I go there like 3 times a week for soda. The clerk there, Ben, he's like 60 years old with this big grey beard. One day about 3 weeks ago I'm paying for my drink and he says "you never look at my face when you talk to me." I didn't even realize I was doing it. He said it in a nice way but it hit me hard. Has anyone else had someone just point out your eye contact thing out of nowhere like that?

Finally made it to a coffee shop meetup after 3 years of trying

Last Saturday I went to a local autism support group meetup at BrewGrounds downtown. I've been thinking about going for 3 years but always bailed last minute because of the noise or trying to figure out parking. I set a timer for 45 minutes and told myself I could leave after that no questions asked. I ended up staying for 2 hours and talked to 2 people about stimming toys and sensory-friendly headphones. It was draining but not as bad as I built it up in my head. Has anyone else found that setting a hard time limit helps you push through the initial anxiety?

Found a weird trick for handling loud movie theaters

I was at an AMC last month and the bass from the action movie was so bad I almost left. Now I bring those foam earplugs they sell at hardware stores and just wear them under my headphones for the really loud parts. Has anyone else tried layering ear protection like that?

Appreciation post: The Tuesday I just sat in the car for 20 minutes and it was great

Last month I had this Tuesday that started with a broken noise-cancelling headset and I just felt it coming, the whole day was gonna be too loud and bright. My wife suggested I just sit in the car for a bit before going into the grocery store, which I usually think is weird. I sat there with the engine off and just watched the clouds for 20 minutes, no phone or anything. That quiet reset my whole brain and I got through the store without a meltdown for the first time in months. Has anyone else found a weird little hidden spot that just works for them to decompress?

My therapist told me to schedule downtime after every social event and I fought it for 3 months

She kept saying I needed 30 minutes of quiet after any hangout but I thought that was a waste of a day. Last week I finally tried it after a 2 hour coffee with a friend and I didn't feel like crawling out of my skin for once. Anyone else have a piece of advice they ignored forever until it actually clicked?

PSA: Visual schedules saved me from daily meltdowns

I was having 3-4 meltdowns a week because transitions were SO hard. My therapist suggested a simple picture schedule on the wall for morning and evening routines. After 2 weeks of using it with my 8 year old son who is also autistic, the meltdowns dropped to almost zero. Has anyone else tried a visual schedule for adults not just kids?