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Elders never speak the deceased's name in my wife's village, I broke it twice

I was in Oaxaca for my wife's grandmother's funeral last spring, and her cousin pulled me aside after I said the grandma's name out loud twice. He said in their Zapotec tradition, naming the dead keeps their spirit from resting, you have to use nicknames or just say 'the one who left'. I get it's about respect, but I grew up where we tell stories about grandma by name all the time at wakes. Which side is actually honoring the person, and has anyone else accidentally crossed a naming taboo in a partner's culture without realizing it?

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ryang7717d ago

Man I'd be dead silent the whole trip after that, lol.