c/cultural-taboo-topics

Hit 500 downloads on my podcast episode about death rituals in different cultures, which felt huge because I was scared to even talk about it.

I was honestly shocked that many people listened to me discuss how some cultures see openly talking about death as deeply disrespectful, while others view avoiding the topic as the real taboo.

My neighbor in Osaka said something about death that made me rethink everything

We were having tea in her tiny apartment last spring, and I mentioned how my family never talks about funerals. She looked at me and said, 'Here, we plan ours. We pick the music and the flowers. It's not sad, it's a final gift.' She showed me a box where she keeps her own choices written down. I always thought avoiding the topic was respectful, but she framed it as an act of care. Has anyone else had a cultural rule about death flipped like that?

TIL that in some parts of Japan, it's still a big deal to stick your chopsticks upright in rice.

I saw a travel show where the host did it at a meal in Osaka, and the local guide got really quiet. That's because it's only done for the dead during funeral rites. I think a lot of visitors don't know the meaning and just think it's a handy way to rest them. Has anyone else run into a small action that means something totally different in another culture?

PSA: I asked my grandma about her family's history in front of my cousins in Seoul

Honestly, I just wanted to know more about our ancestors, but the room went totally silent for a full minute. I learned that directly asking elders about certain past events, especially around the Korean War, is a huge no-go in our family. Has anyone else accidentally stepped into a family history minefield like that?

I accidentally offended my friend's grandma by talking about her new apartment

I was visiting my friend's family in Seoul last year and his grandma had just moved into a smaller place. I said something like, 'It must be nice to have a fresh start in a new home.' The whole room went quiet. Later, my friend pulled me aside and explained that in Korea, it's a big taboo to openly congratulate someone on a new house or talk about it too much. The belief is it can attract bad energy or make the house spirits jealous, which might bring bad luck. I had no idea. I was just trying to be nice and supportive. It was a real eye-opener about how something so normal where I'm from can be totally wrong somewhere else. Has anyone else run into a simple house-related comment that was a big no-no in another culture?

I accidentally brought up the 'wrong' side of the family history at a dinner in Kyoto

We were at my wife's cousin's house and I mentioned her great-uncle who moved to Osaka after the war, which turned the room quiet for a solid minute. I just said 'I think that's a story for another time' and asked about the garden, which got things moving again. Anyone else put their foot in it while trying to learn about family stuff in a different culture?

Just realized my $300 donation to a local political campaign got me labeled a 'troublemaker' by some extended family back home.

In my family's culture, openly supporting a candidate, especially one challenging the status quo, is seen as disrespectful and inviting bad luck, so now my aunt won't even speak to me at gatherings.

Just realized my neighbor in Boise had no idea why I couldn't talk about my aunt's funeral arrangements at the block party last month.

Her family's specific cultural rules meant we had to handle everything privately for 40 days, which felt completely alien and isolating when everyone else was sharing their own family stories so openly.

DAE realize they've been accidentally breaking a major cultural rule?

I was in Kyoto last year and learned my habit of sticking chopsticks upright in rice is a funeral rite. Has anyone else had a moment like this where you were totally unaware of a serious taboo?

Hot take: I chose to talk about my family's debt at a dinner in Seoul and it cost me a friend.

Hot take: My neighbor from Osaka said you never ask about someone's salary there, but here we talk about it all the time.

It made me realize how a simple question about money can be a huge social misstep in one place and a normal Tuesday chat in another, so what's the biggest financial taboo you've run into?

I bought a $150 book on funeral rites in rural Japan and customs here won't let me show it

I found this detailed book online about Japanese burial practices, like the taboo of pointing chopsticks at graveside food. I thought it would be a good resource for a project. When it arrived, my family saw it and got really upset, saying it's bad luck to have that topic in our house. Now the book just sits in a box in my closet because I can't even put it on a shelf without causing a fuss. Has anyone else bought something for study that their own culture's rules made you hide?

I accidentally asked about a death while visiting a friend's family in Vietnam

I was staying with my friend's family in Hanoi for a week last spring. We were having dinner and I noticed a framed photo of an older man on a shelf. Trying to be polite, I asked my friend's mom who the nice man in the picture was. The whole table went quiet. My friend later told me it was her grandfather who passed away, and directly asking about or pointing out photos of the dead is considered very bad luck and rude in their culture. I felt awful. I apologized right away, but the mood was off for the rest of the meal. My friend said her mom would probably do a small ritual later to ward off the bad energy. Has anyone else had a moment like this where a normal question in your culture was a huge taboo somewhere else?

Update: My grandma said talking about her funeral plans was 'tempting fate' and made me stop

She told me, 'We don't speak of death in this house until it's at the door,' so now I just keep a private note on my phone with her wishes for hymns and who gets her china, because how are you supposed to plan for something you can't even mention?

Am I the only one who got in trouble for showing the soles of my feet in Thailand?

I was in Bangkok about five years ago, having a drink with a local colleague, and I sat with my ankle on my knee. He immediately asked me to put my foot down because pointing your foot at someone, or showing the bottom of your shoe, is a big insult there. I never even thought about it before that trip. Has anyone else had a simple body language thing cause a major cultural clash?

Question about a banned book list in my old high school library

In 2019, the library had a whole section on gender identity and queer history, but I checked the online catalog last month and every single one of those titles is gone. The librarian said a new district policy 'reviewed content for age-appropriateness.' Has anyone else seen this kind of quiet purge happen where they live?

Spending $80 on a banned book made me see things differently

I found a first edition of 'The Anarchist Cookbook' at a used book store in Portland last year and paid about eighty bucks for it. In a lot of places, just having a book like that can get you in real trouble, which I never really thought about before. It made me wonder what other normal things are totally off limits somewhere else. Has anyone else picked up a book that's illegal in another country?

Just realized I stopped talking about my grandma's death in public after moving to Japan.

Back in Mexico, when my abuela passed, we talked about her all the time, even with strangers. It felt normal. After I moved to Osaka for work, I mentioned her at a company dinner last year. The table went quiet, and my boss later said it was 'too heavy' for the setting. Now I keep those stories strictly for family calls. Has anyone else had to completely change how they talk about grief in a new country?

I accidentally brought up a death anniversary at a dinner in Tokyo

I was at a work dinner in Tokyo last month with some local colleagues. We were talking about family traditions, and I mentioned how my grandma always makes a special meal on the anniversary of my grandpa's passing. I mean, it's just a normal thing for us to talk about. The table went completely quiet for like 30 seconds. My main colleague, Kenji, just said softly, 'We do not speak of such things during a meal, it is bad luck.' I felt my face get hot. I tried to apologize and change the subject to the food, but the mood was off for the rest of the night. I guess directly mentioning death, especially around food, is a huge taboo there. Has anyone else messed up by talking about a normal topic from their culture that turned out to be super off limits somewhere else?

A family dinner in Kyoto taught me to never ask about someone's job right away.

My friend in Singapore sent me a picture of a blank page in his history book

It was from a chapter about regional politics three years ago. He said the teacher told the class that section was 'not for discussion' and to just skip it. I looked it up and it covered a period with some contested elections in a neighboring country. Last week, I was reading about how some topics just get erased like that, not even called taboo, just gone. Makes you wonder what gets left out of the stories we're told. Has anyone else seen a textbook with literal empty pages?

I hit 37 mentions of a specific historical figure in a single textbook chapter

I was helping my kid with homework on modern Japanese history and we were counting references to Emperor Hirohito in their school book. The chapter on World War II had his name come up 37 times, but never once directly discussed his wartime responsibility. It's a clear example of how some topics, like imperial accountability, get handled through omission rather than open debate. Has anyone else noticed a similar pattern with how their country's education system approaches a difficult historical figure?

My aunt from Kyoto told me never to give four of anything as a gift in Japan.

I sent a set of four nice glasses to a friend in Osaka last year, and her mom was actually a bit upset when they arrived. The word for 'four' sounds like the word for 'death' there, so it's seen as really bad luck. Has anyone else run into a number-based taboo like that in another culture?

I had a surprisingly great week after I openly disagreed with my family about discussing funeral costs.

My aunt in Phoenix called me last Tuesday to say it was 'morbid' to talk about her own burial plan prices during a family dinner, but I argued that avoiding the topic just leaves everyone stressed and unprepared when the time actually comes.

Just realized how openly people talk about mental health now compared to when I was a kid

I remember my mom telling me in the 90s that you just didn't talk about seeing a therapist, it was a huge secret. Now I see ads for therapy apps on the subway. What's a taboo in your family or culture that's slowly fading?