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Grandma's funeral rule got me uninvited from the family group chat
My grandma passed away in March and we had her service in her hometown of Columbus, Ohio. She was from a super traditional Mexican family that believed funerals are for immediate family ONLY, no friends, no coworkers, no neighbors. I thought that was outdated and posted about it on Facebook, invited a few close buddies who knew her. My tia found out and went ballistic, started a whole thing where I got kicked out of the family WhatsApp group. She told me I disrespected the dead by turning a sacred day into a social event. I get their point now, but honestly, is keeping friends away really about respect or just control? The worst part is my grandma LOVED having people around, she was the neighborhood abuela who fed everyone. Has anyone else run into a family that treats grief like a private club? How do you handle it without starting a war?
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angelac631mo ago
Your tia kicked you out of the family WhatsApp group over this? That seems like a huge overreaction for someone who was just trying to honor how your grandma actually lived. Columbus, Ohio and a grandma who fed the whole neighborhood, that says it all right there. If she was the kind of woman who always had extra plates on the table, then having your friends there sounds like it matched her spirit more than some rule about who is allowed to show up. I come from a family that does the same thing, keeps grief behind closed doors like it is a secret, and it never sat right with me either. The hard part is you cannot win this one with logic, because for them it is not about logic, it is about tradition. Maybe you can say your piece to your tia one on one, not in the group, and let her know you were not trying to make a scene.
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