Had to choose between attending a family wedding in India or my best friend's funeral back home last month

My cousin got married in a big traditional ceremony in Mumbai, but the same week my childhood buddy passed away in Chicago. I booked flights for both at first but realized I couldn't afford the time off work or the money for two trips around the world. Picking the funeral felt like I was breaking a huge cultural rule in my family, because weddings there are seen as sacred and you're expected to show up. My mom called me selfish and said I was disrespecting generations of tradition by skipping the wedding. At the funeral, I gave a eulogy and saw his kids and wife, and honestly that moment hit me harder than any wedding dance ever could. Has anyone else had to choose between family expectations and personal loyalty like this?

2 comments

2 Comments

briancampbell3d ago

I mean I get why your mom said that, you called the wedding "sacred" and that's a big deal in a lot of families. But honestly skipping it probably hurt way more people than just your mom - your cousin, your grandparents, all the relatives who flew in from overseas to see everyone together. One funeral eulogy isn't going to fix that rift, and now you're the guy who chose a friend over blood when it really mattered.

eva_ward883d ago

6 months ago I would've sided with you on the blood over friend thing... but then my own cousin skipped my grandma's funeral to go to his friend's charity run and my whole view shifted. He said it was for a good cause but all I could see was my grandma's empty chair and my aunt crying into her hands. Sometimes the words "sacred" or "important" feel so heavy that they make people forget there are actual real people hurting on the other side of that decision.