Had to choose between burying my dad or cremating him in a country where neither was normal

My dad died while we were living in Japan, and his family wanted to bury him. Problem was, they wanted to do it in a specific rural plot that had no legal space. The other option was cremation, but older relatives said that's bad luck for the family line. I went with cremation after 3 days of fighting, and now my aunt won't speak to me at family dinners. Has anyone else had to pick between two traditions that both felt wrong?

2 comments

2 Comments

dixon.amy22d ago

That line about "both felt wrong" really hit me hard, because sometimes there's just no good option and you're left picking the least bad one. In my experience, family traditions can put you in an impossible spot where honoring one relative means hurting another. I'm sorry you're stuck with that silent treatment at dinner, it sounds like you did what you had to do for your dad.

olivers2821d ago

Do you really think there's always a least bad option though? Sometimes both choices are equally terrible and you just have to pick the one that causes the least damage to your own conscience. The silent treatment at dinner sounds brutal, but maybe that aunt needs to sit with the fact that she's putting her own feelings above her brother's memory.