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Client told me my quotes were too wordy, so I cut them down to bullet points

Last month a GC said he skipped my bid because it looked like a novel, so now I keep proposals under 10 lines and my close rate jumped from 40% to 65% - anyone else dumb down their pitch on purpose?
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2 Comments
the_ruby
the_ruby1mo ago
40% to 65% jump sounds more like you're finally targeting the right clients rather than just making bullet points. Feels like a stretch to credit format for that big of a swing.
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jesse_cooper
Feels like a stretch" - hey @the_ruby, maybe I'm just that bad at writing full sentences!
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