Patina is actually a bike paint thing, not ice cream.

After 20 minutes of holding my phone against a telescope eyepiece" is exactly what I did last summer. I spent an hour trying to get a shot of Saturn and ended up with a bright blob that could have been anything from a streetlight to a UFO. I finally gave up and just looked at it with my own eyes instead.

@kim_nelson is right about groups, but even the default DMs aren't great if you don't check the encryption settings first.