But what if it starts here? I used to think like you.

I've had earbuds die during a sneeze.

Read something interesting about that recently. It said the best tools are usually the simplest ones that you'll actually use all the time. I've found that to be pretty true in my own case, a complicated tool just collects dust.

My buddy's office had that same mess until they finally made a chart.

Actually, a clean desk makes way more sense to me. Some people leave confidential papers out or old food containers everywhere. That's a real problem. Keeping your stuff tidy just means you're organized, not planning an exit. HR jumping to that conclusion says more about office paranoia than anything else.